I miss you

I hate to admit this, but i was such a bad grand daughter. I know i don't think of you as much now but whenever i see grandma, my heart ache so bad i feel like grabbing it out. This chinese new year was pointless and meaningless without you. The whole atmosphere at your house felt so different without you. Your favourite armchair was just left there empty. Sometimes someone would go over and sit but all i could see is you sitting there, how your body fit in so perfectly. I hate myself so much, for not treasuring the time that was left for me to spend it with you. I took everything forgranted. I can't even remember what were the last words i spoke to you. I only remember myself hugging you so tightly when you left. I cant't even remember when was the last conversation i had with you. All i remember is the scattered pieces of phototographs and the halfdone album that was meant for you left lying on the ground outside your ward, followed by all of us dashing into your ward to see the curtains covered. And then the never ending cries. I must have been really unfilial, thus you never once appeared in my dreams. I may not show it, but no one will ever ever know how much i really miss you...